A while back I came across an article that spoke about “helicopter parenting”…parents that hover over their kids.This got my attention and I asked myself am I a helicopter parent?Do I want to be a helicopter parents? Based on the article, there were distinct signs that the answer was yes to the former question…so how do I answer the latter question?

I started researching more on the subject matter and this post will share some of my research.

How do I raise resilient kid/kids? A kid that can cope with challenges!

1.Teach your kid to talk about feelings

Make talking about feelings a daily topic of conversation.Ask your kid how they feel about different experiences in their life. For example:

• When you meet people for the first time?
• When you lose a game?
• When a toy breaks?
• When you are asked to do something you don’t want to do but need to do?

Adopt teachable moments to explore and discuss feelings. If you are reading a book or watching a movie with your child, ask them to think about how the characters feel.This will start helping them understand that feelings of sadness, disappointment, anger and frustration are completely normal;it teaches them that happiness is not possible every moment of every day.

2. Teach your kid healthy ways to cope with big emotions

Adopting these skills, empowers your kid to have some control over their emotions and that they can handle those emotions in a safe and healthy way.

Imagine a favorite place
Get a drink of water
Distraction by playing a game
Colour or draw
Build something with lego
Play soothing music
Take a break in a calming environment

3.Teach your kid to take deep breaths 
A simple way you can teach them to take 5 deep breaths just using their hand. Position yourself so that you are at the same level with your child. Have them put up one hand, palm facing you and fingers spread. With your finger, start at the base of their thumb and breathe in while you move your hand up one side of their thumb. Move your finger down the other side of their thumb and breathe out. Do the same thing with the remaining four fingers, while both of you take deep breaths in and out. After you’ve reached the pinky finger, you’ll have done 5 complete deep breaths.(sourced and quoted from Janine Halloran)

This exercise aids in connecting with your child on their level.End the exercise with a hug or high five.

4. Create an environment for non scheduled activities.Play!

Allow some time outside of the routine of scheduled activities.Let your child simply play with open ended toys.Toys that are blocks, dolls, cars and icecream sticks.

Its a great stress reliever apart from it being activities nurturing a creative side.

Given your support and love, your child will learn how to enjoy the good times but weather the storm.

Happy parenting!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting is crazy & messy, but so rewarding & beautiful at the same time. Before I became a mom, I was obsessed with everything being in its designated place, b ut now, the house is just messy! In a nutshell, I was a control freak!

Motherhood has simply forced me to choose between my sanity and a model lifestyle.Guess what…sanity won! I have come to realize very quickly through motherhood is that I can only control my reaction. We can’t force kids into doing what they don’t want to do.This got me thinking more on the parenting side about what matters? Does the messy room with toys matter, does the kitchen sink with dirty dishes matter or does the time taken to play catch, hide&seek or listen about their day for an hour with your child matter when you return from work?

After I thought about it, I realize there are 2 kinds of mess, the literal and the figurative..

First, let me share the literal in my household and it goes like this:

My toddler leaves her trademark in every room, be it her toys, her books, the contents of my kitchen cupboards and I just don’t care as much as I used too…people can judge when they visit and I don’t care.The house is clean but just untidy!

I choose to spend time with my little girl, it’s ok to have my shoes scattered around the house for a few hours.At the end of the day, we sing a clean up song and she puts my shoes back into the closet; it’s ok for her to pull out the wooden spoon and mini frying pan out the kitchen cupboard so she knows she is part of the cooking journey while I cook because we will wash up together and she will pack it away.

Embrace the mess and turn it into an experience and adventure!

Now, the figurative sense goes like this:

I went through the postpartum tears for random reasons, I was in zombie mode until Mckenzie weaned off the breast, and now we are reacting to toddler meltdowns. The mess of not having time to speak to your best friend who lives in another province and not one day goes by without you taking a moment to think of her but not enough time to pick up the phone to send a message or give her  call just to say hi and how are you? The mess of you and your partner being exhausted and can only hold onto distant memories of the time you could share dinner over candlelight and a glass of wine because all you can do now is tag team to ensure you eat a warm meal…BUT remember this mess is now and it will pass BUT your child needs you to be happy and be present, NOT A PERFECT HOUSE OR PERFECT PARENTS!

Embrace it, laugh at it, accept it so you can kickass at this messy lifestyle!

 

 

 

 

Eating for two resonated with me the most on the day I found out I had gestational diabetes. I share my journey over at  http://samomblogs.co.za

 

 *Disclaimer: Please don't follow my typical day of eating as it was designed for my needs.If you are faced with this diagnosis, I encourage you to meet with a dietitian to develop an eating plan customised to your needs.