A while back I came across an article that spoke about “helicopter parenting”…parents that hover over their kids.This got my attention and I asked myself am I a helicopter parent?Do I want to be a helicopter parents? Based on the article, there were distinct signs that the answer was yes to the former question…so how do I answer the latter question?
I started researching more on the subject matter and this post will share some of my research.
How do I raise resilient kid/kids? A kid that can cope with challenges!
1.Teach your kid to talk about feelings
Make talking about feelings a daily topic of conversation.Ask your kid how they feel about different experiences in their life. For example:
- When you meet people for the first time?
- When you lose a game?
- When a toy breaks?
- When you are asked to do something you don’t want to do but need to do?
Adopt teachable moments to explore and discuss feelings. If you are reading a book or watching a movie with your child, ask them to think about how the characters feel.This will start helping them understand that feelings of sadness, disappointment, anger and frustration are completely normal;it teaches them that happiness is not possible every moment of every day.
2. Teach your kid healthy ways to cope with big emotions
Adopting these skills, empowers your kid to have some control over their emotions and that they can handle those emotions in a safe and healthy way.
Imagine a favorite place
Get a drink of water
Distraction by playing a game
Colour or draw
Build something with lego
Play soothing music
Take a break in a calming environment
3.Teach your kid to take deep breaths
A simple way you can teach them to take 5 deep breaths just using their hand. Position yourself so that you are at the same level with your child. Have them put up one hand, palm facing you and fingers spread. With your finger, start at the base of their thumb and breathe in while you move your hand up one side of their thumb. Move your finger down the other side of their thumb and breathe out. Do the same thing with the remaining four fingers, while both of you take deep breaths in and out. After you’ve reached the pinky finger, you’ll have done 5 complete deep breaths.(sourced and quoted from Janine Halloran)
This exercise aids in connecting with your child on their level.End the exercise with a hug or high five.
4. Create an environment for non scheduled activities.Play!
Allow some time outside of the routine of scheduled activities.Let your child simply play with open ended toys.Toys that are blocks, dolls, cars and icecream sticks.
Its a great stress reliever apart from it being activities nurturing a creative side.
Given your support and love, your child will learn how to enjoy the good times but weather the storm.